Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Will You D[VR] Mine?

My beloved DVR,

It is customary in these parts to reflect on love at this time of year.  On its pretty promise and prickly possibilities.

I have known love; for I have known you.

DVR, you had me at "Scheduled Recordings."  You had me at "Series Manager."

You are everything that I dreamed a Love could be: You hear.  You listen.  You understand.

You know what I want.  You give it to me.

Time.

Control.

Bliss.

When I'm with you, I feel like the clocks have stopped.  For you have given me an additional 18 minutes in every hour.  You have given me the Australian Open women's final at a civilized time.  Together we are fashionably late. 

Before I met you, I spent hours on the couch every evening, distracted and diffuse.  My favorite Seattle doctors interrupted by moody cavemen, my beloved budding fashion designers cut off by tampon ads.  My eyes closing while waiting for Lost to find me.

No longer must I languish while commercials tempt me with their tasty treats and wily wares.  No longer must I suffer through cliff-hanging transitions.  No longer must I submit to the Machiavellian machinations of network no-good-niks.

I know I haven't always been the greatest communicator.  And you were right to let me know that.  (By erasing the season finale of Top Chef and recording 38 episodes of The Simpsons in its place.)

But, DVR, sweet DVR, you make me want to be a better woman.  To give others the happiness you give me.

DVR, what did I do to deserve you?  (Other than pay an additional $9.95 to Time Warner every month?)

Where would I be without you?  (Likely still on the couch.) 

You have changed my life.  (You have enabled my habit.)

DVR, you really know how to push my buttons.  (Or, at least, I know how to push yours.)

xoxo,
Kristen

This post was inspired by Love it Up at Momalom and by a tweet from Charlotte about watching Emma on her DVR.  (Sadly, even my cherished DVR didn't remember to record Masterpiece Classic when I repeatedly forgot to program it.)  

Feeling the love?  Go link up your own love letter at Momalom.

Which household gadget are you in love with right now? 
Image: Remote RAW (48/366) by 427 via Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

26 comments:

  1. Oh my, hilarious! And yet so very, very true. I cannot live without my PVR (what they are called in Canada) Sad though, how much our lives are ruled by technology and yet made easier at the same time.

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  2. I am in love with my Dust Buster (for obvious reasons). Love it love it love it love it love it love it.
    S.

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  3. Crap, you just reminded me that I forgot to record Emma, too! I, sadly, do not have a DVR. Just an old fashioned VCR (Luddites unite!). I do love my iPod, though. More than I ever thought I would when I bought it.

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  4. I echo every single word here. When we got our DVR a few years ago it was at my husband's insistance. My thought was, "I've survived 28 years without it. Why is it so important now?" But. But!! I love it for all the reasons you highlight. I will NEVER not have DVR again in my life.

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  5. Too cute! And if I had been in possession of a DVR, clearly I would've had more to say about the Australian Open!! (Just 9.95/month more? I hardly have time for anything now, as it is... of course, the French Open is another matter...)

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  6. Fabulous...you should be there spokesperson. You've convinced me that I must give in as I have held out since I am not a tremendous tv viewer.

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  7. Um, I don't own a TV. But, when I have lived somewhere with a TV, I have craved DVR. It is one of those amazing inventions.

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  8. Me lovva my DVR. It's gonna save my butt when the Olympics arrive in a week or so.

    Plus, I can watch Mad Men without falling asleep...and who wants to sleep when Jon Hamm is on the screen?

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  9. This post hits a sore spot right now, as my beloved flat-screen is in the repair shop (indefinitely) and we are down to only one (gasp!) TV in this house. Which wouldn't be a problem, except that Lost premiered last week, but I also MUST watch Biggest Loser and hubby MUST watch American Idol, and our DVR was in a panic, unsure what to do. Bottom line, I will have to download Idol. Or better yet, salvage those two hours of my life altogether!

    So yes, my love of my DVR runs deep. Great love letter for the Momalom series!

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  10. Oh, how I laughed out loud with this one. I am not big on gadgets, AT ALL. I am not even big on TV, really. But my DVR...I just made a joke last week to Hubby that it's probably the only thing in the house I love more than him and the kids. Maybe even more than my shoes.

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  11. I need to get on board with this DVR thing. I guess I need to watch more TV. I have had major affairs in the past with various programs but most of it leaves me cold these days. I rarely turn it on to watch something specific. I am so far behind in Lost , 24 and Greys that I will never catch up. Although last night I was mesmerized by Little Miss Perfect - a documentary on beauty pagents. Ick. Dont need to see that again. :)

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  12. Very clever. :-)
    I'm a bit infatuated with my DVR too.

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  13. Love this. And love my DVR too. Too bad it's backed up with 99% kids shows :)

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  14. Kristen, LOVE your love letter! What a great idea by Sarah and Jen! I'm mulling over my own right now.

    As far as a household gadget? I'm about to pull out the beast: my Dyson vacuum cleaner. I'm not Suzy Homemaker or anything, but if I have to vacuum this one is the sportscar of vacuums. It'll make me feel better by making my house clean, right? Happy house, happy mom.

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  15. Oh, this is so funny and very true.
    How did I live without my wonderful DVR????

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  16. Jealous am I! Alas - our rural situation is beyond the realm of cable, so there's no commercial-skipping going on at my house. For now my greatest loves in household gadgets can be found in the kitchen.

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  17. Brilliant - I couldn't have said it better! My DVR has changed my life. So glad to hear I'm not alone with my tech love.
    Eva

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  18. I can't believe we don't have one. Why are the best shows on at 10 pm? Drives me maaaaaad. And why have we missed the DVR boat? Not sure. But want want want.

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  19. Hilarious! And sadly, oh so true for myself. I often find myself frustrated with our bedroom TV because it doesn't have a DVR. Oh, how I wish I could fast forward thru commercials while in bed!

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  20. What oh what oh what did we do before DVR? However, I am one of the freaks that enjoys the commercials (yep, the marketer in me). I feel like I can still be a "person" with my DVR. I can still have passion for the Bachelor because of my DVR. I can get sleep when I need it.. and on and on. This was AWESOME. Loved it.

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  21. DVR changed my life. I love it, too. I don't even know what time any of my shows come on anymore! My youngest can't figure out why we won't pause the upstairs TV for him like we do the family room TV. My kids have already learned the consequences of that terrible sin of screwing up the priority list so the kid show is recorded and mine is skipped.

    Sorry to have reminded you so cruelly about missing Emma.

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  22. TV is no longer for the lazy, I tell you. The DVR has revolutionized time, scheduling and relaxation. Ah, yes. Love ours without question. However I, like Aidan, have a DVR filled with episodes of Diego and Pokemon. Shoot me in the foot!

    This was brilliant, Kristen. Bravo!

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  23. I will also say Netflix has changed our life (although not quite to the same degree as the DVR). We've been able to watch entire series we missed during our pre-DVR years or just didn't get into when they started. We just finished all 5 seasons of "The Wire" and have started "Mad Men." Lovely entertainment!

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  24. Hahahahahahaha - This just cracked me up. And it's so, so true. I heart my DVR (and my Netflix Instant Queue) to no end. Oh, modern convenience, what would I have done without you?

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  25. I'm finally getting caught up. Geez. I am low tech. Only got cable a year ago. No HD. No TiVo. Certainly no DVR. But I hear you. I hear you because I have this brewing love affair with OnDemand. It's glorious.

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  26. this was awesome!! thanks so much for the laugh! i always wanted a DVR - i think i WOULD be on the couch all the time if i had one!

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